Goals

Hello for a second time from Peiran!  I wonder if people are still reading these… hopefully it is still encouraging and eye opening to those who are reading.  I write with no other purpose than to share what God has laid on my heart and I can only hope that it speaks to yours as well.  Missions to me has become not only a way of sharing our faith with new believers but also encouraging our brothers and sisters abroad and bridging the gap between churches across the globe much like Paul did in his missionary work. We can teach each other so much and learn from each other as well. 

But anyways, goals. So before we left for missions Pastor Tony had encouraged us to write down a goal that we would aim for.  We could try to remember all the kids names or serve our team in getting water for people every time or try to connect with the family… things like that.  My goal for myself was to make a connection with at least 3 of the local teachers so that I could continue to encourage them and support them even after I come home.  Especially because they will be the ones working with the children year round and making an even bigger impact, I really wanted to be there for them in that way.  But even as I penned that thought I was doubting in my heart.  I paused slightly after writing it out. How was this supposed to happen? I have no ability to communicate with them.  At most we would probably smile.  How will they see that I want to be there for them? How will they see my heart? And even when I am there I will be teaching the children… how will I spend time with the teachers? 

But God knows what He wants and what He lays on our hearts is always achievable.  Nothing is impossible with Him. Within the first day I found that one of the girls I shared a room with, also one of the pastor's daughters, was dreaming of being a teacher.  And her English was great! She even had the dream of going to college to learn more so she could teach more to these children.  What a beautiful and clear vision for her future.  It's funny because now that I think back she was the one I sat next to when they picked us up from the airport and the first one to truly try befriending me.  I appreciated that so much and was drawn to her right away. This is us on the first day! 

So in my heart during the first week I was really trying to find time to sit with her more but somehow our schedules did not always end up working out well. She is still in high school and had to go to class in the morning and I was so tired every night I ended up knocking out by 10.  That is still something that I wish I had been less selfish about. I wish I had sacrificed my sleep to talk to her more and if God allows for a next time I will definitely make that more of a priority. 

During the first week I also found out that one of my students was actually a teacher as well.  But she was young and was allowed to take advantage of the two weeks to learn for herself as well. My happiest moments with her, when we really felt a deeper connection, was most likely beach day. On the ride there she sat with me and Thia and fell asleep to me tapping her shoulder and humming worship songs. Then while at the beach I taught her a little bit of swimming and she was brave enough to try floating on her back by herself! It was so easy to get drawn in by the younger kids while teaching because they were never shy and always asked to be held or picked up or swung around but with Truc I honestly had to make more of a conscious effort to sit by her and encourage her more.  But to me it appeared that she was really used to taking care of the younger ones but it had been a while since she had been cared for and loved on and that is what drew me to her. 

                 

And as one week ended and our second week started and I was already at 2 out of 3. But God decided to overflow my cup.  The two assistant teachers we had also started to open up (one of them is now my girlfriend, Hau, on the left).  Despite their limited English and thanks to a few translations I found out that Em/Esther (on the right), who is now my younger sister, was apparently drawn to me from the beginning.  

                    

I had no idea because she had made no indication of it but this brought tears to my eyes.  My God was paving the way from the start, even before I met these girls. From the very beginning when the head pastor of TLC came to one of our group meetings and his wife shared about our need to be concerned for the teachers just as much as the students my heart was moved.  From the start God already planted the dream in my heart and of course He would bring it to fruition.  I did not need to know Vietnamese or Khmer and they did not need to know English.  I did not need to do anything but be present and obedient and God was going to use me as He willed. 

This is something I have continuously heard and learned and am slowly allowing to seep in.  God does not call me to be perfect and He does not require me to fix myself because I cannot. I am already a daughter of God and He has already planned the good works I am called to do and all I need to do is obey.  I just need to listen and obey.  One of the most simple to do yet simultaneously difficult to do.  May God complete the good work He has started in me and may I remember this lesson of obedience.  

For you as a supporter please continue to pray for these teachers/ future teachers. So many of them have difficult home situations.  Despite the smiles they wear on their faces there is so much brokenness in their lives and sometimes even opposition from family members to continue teaching at this school, yet they continue.  From them I have learned so much about faithfulness and obedience.  It is a day by day, step by step action.  My heart and prayers go out to them tonight.